Installation and Poem made for dance company Staunch - evening of dance and music, December 2019.

Everyday could be a nightmare or ok... lets just dance it off? After 1Q84 after 1Q84 after 1984 - 'I was speaking to your worse half the other day and she told me to watch out'​  

There’s a smudge of memory pinned to the back of your mind where you felt ..

 

uneasy and hot and nauseous and cold because a blueness out there crept in and it wrapped and spread on everything like a baby left alone with a jam pot.. or was it hot and orange? cant quite remember. It formed a big hole in the sky of your enclosure, I can see where it left a mark because it formed in your eye too, scratching and moving through the tunnel. 

One time the other evening the cut mark that you had made in the air allowed your twin to climb through, you couldn't recognise each other and threw your pencil at it because it was there was nothing else to throw but then we hugged and the fantasy broke for a moment 

or maybe three moments ..

 

later that night .. 

 

She was in the back of the car slowly blinking and all the engines on the motorway turned off.  The headlights were dimmed because a concert was going to start so the audience shushed and looked at the light above

The moon split in two and began to dance with its other half, Its a sort of quick and jerky motioned jig..

But one part was actually a kind of off-grey not silver

And the other realised that it wasn’t looking at its other half but an old and spoiled reflection

so the dancing stops

The cars turn their engines and headlights back on in a rhythm together and carried on their routes home from work as if nothing had happened, like no one saw a thing? The feeling that something small and significant had changed lingered.

curiously they shifted a little each in their seats in rhythm again, but no one noticed the other move. They all slept strangely that night in funny positions looking like stick insects with double jointed legs

 

each person felt a snag, theres no other way to describe a snag than a snag i reckon.  it came to all of them when they woke up for a second in the middle of the night, one of those kinds of wake ups when you aren't sure if your actually awake or asleep but aren't too worried and go back to sleep anyway..

 

The next morning came around as usual. a Friday!

 

all the witnesses, they forgot the thing with the moon, but a feeling of losing was a dirty aura trailing them like those old spy films with the police in a secret car just a little bit behind. the snag carried on irritating and snagging. the daily routine, the daily grind, the daily-name-it-what-you-will-it-still-can-be-a-bummer, carried on as usual but it was a Friday and most of them had the weekend off because most of the jobs involved 9 to 5 days every weekday but not the weekends. 

 

Friday night 

 

So down they crawled, into those tunnels peeling off from inside underground caves.. tubular, hollow spaces except for that immense heat from when they thumped limbs - i don't like the thumping limbs but i like that all of them made a crowd in the main cavern and began to move together again. Their rhythm picked up to the drone notes, they forgot the snag, hurrah! we will keep moving in sync and forget the snag. they thought! There was no moon, it was also his weekend so he planned to get absolutely wrecked, or at least that was the plan, the sun was gonna to be late so would meet them there he had said. Everyone underground began to seriously sweat, hours of mind numbing later and they started to crawl back out and split off into their tiny segments to go home.

 

That night the demons that had been suspended and tied up in knots upstairs managed to slowly loosen their binds and came crawling down the walls one by one.. back into their owners beds and heads slathering their slimy breath again.

 

the next morning when they woke up

 

waking up in the morning the group of people who didn't know each other but were all at the motorway got the snag again - they shrivelled their eyes a little and squinted like they had sharp headaches but letting out a big sigh got up and went to make a coffee.

for a little bit last night they didn't have a twin at all ! they were just themselves! but pores opened up again in the walls of their kitchens and started breaking into the other place where those sounds of exhales were sectioned off .. this gross stuff started to sap through like the walls were bark.. hmm …..i guess they would have to wait until next week and try again on Friday they thought and hope that even though their limbs weren't stretching and necks didn't lengthen and the body was pretty much the same except for maybe a bit achy from drinks or blown up a little from some food, that the growing pains would would stop clenching their muscles.